i think this has been my longest absence from this space since i began writing here...and as with all the other times a gap in writing takes places i feel pretty lame about it. the past few months have been pretty eventful and involved a lot of change and adjustment, but all in a good way. but in the rush, hubbub, and tumult of it all it's been all too easy to become lackadaisical...and not just with the blogging but all the responsibilities of daily and adult life.
in all honesty, at times it becomes a bit frightening. like terrifying. one way to look at it is to see it as a lack of "gumption" or ambition. it easily comes off as that...but i know that isn't the issue. it's more of an existential crisis of sorts, one where i'm at the stage of knowing many of the standards that have applied (or at least existed and seemed to apply) are in ways irrelevant now, but i'm frozen and unsure of just what to do.
leaving LA and a job that left me dissatisfied was the first step in attempting to deal with the realizations of life and actually a way of preemptively dealing with the paralysis. in a way, it accelerated the paralysis...but in a good way. it avoided or curtailed a period of denial, i guess.
anyway...these are just tonite's ramblings that may or may not lead to anything of substance. life's tough to figure out. i'm hoping that this week's trip to Greece will help figure a few things out...a bit cliche, maybe...but hey...u never know, right?
