home.

i'm extremely tired and should probably just go to sleep, but i miss my blog and it's been way too long since i've written. more importantly i've been thinking and feeling a lot as of late and thus have a need to write.

first of all, the gyros i ate at the fleetwood diner about 30 minutes ago has left me feel rather gross right now and my stomach is not particularly pleased with me. coupled with the smell of grease from the restaurant, i almost just want to die.

anyway...on to the realer stuff. i've been home for almost a whole week now and it's provided a lot to think about. i've had a great time back here but oddly i feel a sense of sadness. it's not a simple: "i miss home" feeling. it goes well beyond that to thoughts about things i miss that i know will never be in a permanent sense to also dissatisfaction with certain aspects of life right now.

being back here has been so wonderful. i've had great times with my closest friends and also shared times with those who aren't as close but are still individuals with a shared past. i feel like there's something about the group of kids who i went to high school (even those beyond my closest group of friends who i've stayed in really good touch with) and it's just this kind of unspoken bond of sorts that just feels good.

it's also been great being at home with my family and getting to spend some time with them. obviously no one could be more important (altho some of my friends definitely are like family).

these wonderful times definitely make me miss ann arbor and being here but i also realize, as i have before that these experiences are an alternate reality due to the holidays in which we all come back here. it's not what living here would really feel like. and it's not that i'm longing to come back here, as i mentioned already.

it's more that i see things i really love and know that these things are not a part of my normal, everyday life and they really won't be in a way. while my everyday life is pretty great, it's tough to know there are things i enjoy that aren't a part of the norm. but i'm lucky to have these times at home, with my family, with my friends, even just with myself in the most familiar of places.

at the end of the day, anytime i feel down i get this sense of not feeling like myself; i feel an urge to get back to being me. sadly, as great as many things are right now i feel that urge to a certain degree. at this point, knowing i feel that urge is what gnaws at me a little and honestly probably makes it all seem worse than it is...because it's not that bad. really, it's not and i'm not trying to say it is. i think i'm just being somewhat idealistic in my hopes and desires and feeling the discord between them and reality is sometimes difficult (even if they aren't as far apart as i may make them seem).


ok, it's like 3:10 am over here and i still feel ill from the food. time to try and sleep it off...

coming soon: new year's resolutions and highlights from home.

"In the conditions of the city, the city, the city, the city, the city, the city, c'mon"

Tonite's title comes from the Common song Chi-City. I love the song and I really love when it hits that part of the song. Obviously he's referring to Chicago [a great city in its own right], but the city that speaks to me in that way is San Francisco. I spent another amazing weekend up there, in a place that always feels like home as opposed to some place I've left and am no longer familiar with. I'm sure part of it has to do with the fact that I was always learning about new things there...so even if I come up on something new it doesn't feel foreign in the usual sense. But there's a lot I do know and love. I actually had the chance to really just hang out in the City on Saturday and it was wonderful...really, really making me want to move back.

Anywho...the usual list of highlights:

• getting asked for directions twice while standing on the street with my rolling carry-on bag [who asks someone who is clearly traveling for directions?]
• hotel upgrade to the suite with 2 huge flat-panel TVs within 15 feet of each other, a stereos system, a shower and a separate tub, and a collection of CDs
• Kobe beef bacon cheeseburger and gyudon beef for dinner
• hotel goods as a present [i wish it was my idea...but it wasn't]
  
• lots and lots of shopping [premium jeans for me...but no winter coat]
• meeting some new ppl
• the guys winning in Taboo [I consider myself the difference maker - and "darling"]
• white elephant exchange, stealing the present i brought, and not getting anything except a box of funny cards in the end [not even the pooping reindeer!]
• strolling around a bit

It gets harder and harder to be away from such a great place where so many great ppl are, but I'll be back for New Year's eve and I'm sure again not long after that [by then I'll have earned 2 free round-trip tickets on Southwest...suhweet!] At the end of the day I feel like my real life is the time I spend up there [as well as the rest of my time traveling and being out & about], while my time here and working is some falsity. Maybe not falsity...but not a reality. But hey...i guess it's all real, all a part of life and all I can do now is work hard and continue to enjoy my free time. What comes next [be it now or in a while.

Some pics from the weekend as well as some black & whites I shot a little while ago up on the flickr page. I left my camera in the car so I didn't get any pics from the party...sadness. I should probably get some sleep after a fun and full weekend.

a letter they won't see

Dear MTV,

Please stop, I need you to stop. Seriously, I really don't appreciate it. It bugs and kinda puts a downer on my morning everyday when I wake up for work. So please, hear this call, this plea...and please, please stop.

Stop forcing M.I.A. down my throat every morning as I try to watch a few videos between waking up, showering, and getting dressed before work. Why do u have to push her on me, on all of us? Is it really necessary for every commercial break to involve her? Honestly, why do you need to attempt to make me like something by repeatedly blaring it during commercial breaks?

I'm sorry, but from what I've heard in your little snippets, I really don't like her music. If others do, that's fine [granted, I feel sorry for you]. In the end, shouldn't we have more of a voice, more of a choice? I get that you drop new music on us and I appreciate that you do. But not like this please. Everything in moderation [and less than moderation of the crappy stuff, please].

So please heed this call and stop attempting to make M.I.A. blow up more than she has [has she?], stop trying to be the arbiter of all that we will like. Expose other artists...give me some variety and let me decide who I'm feeling and who I'm not. Because no matter how many times I hear her wacked out drum beats and rapping that sounds like many other rappers performing live [i.e., it sucks and one can't even her the lyrics in a comprehensible manner], I'm still going to like her.

Sincerely,
me...the guy who likes music videos in the morning [in part because that is the only time u play them]
_______

On a more serious note, what is the deal with that? I don't know if anyone else noticed but I swear every time there is a commercial break during the few videos they play in the morning, there's always a snippet about M.I.A. or of her performing or whatever. I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling her and what is the deal with MTV overplaying her?

That's one thing that always concerns me about music these days: someone always seems to push something on us. There is so much we're not exposed to because a select group of individuals controls it all in the end. Heck, even Ryan Seacrest works for a ClearChannel station...which makes it all see so manufactured.

Thankfully the advent of the internet and more recent developments with it make change more and more possible. File-sharing makes it possible to share music easily. Websites like the myspace make it easier to promote yourself. It's really a time full of exciting potential.

Anyway...I'm butt-tired and gotta get thru one more day of work. Weekend, what what?!?!?!?!?! Another run to the Yay for me...and then a couple weeks staying in SoCal before heading home for the holidays [I cannot wait!]. I'll be back with the update as usual when I get back.

it's funny how things work out...

i applied for a job at this small law firm that does a lot of intellectual property work a long while ago. either i never heard anything or i got a pretty standard rejection letter. no big deal but as with every such letter (especially with intellectual property firms) it was a bummer.

today i got some work on a case that has been ongoing for sometime now. the clients? the guys who didn't hire me. i mentioned to a coworker how i applied for a job at their firm and he responded: "Now you're representing them." all along i was amused how i applied for a job and now that firm came up at work. i didn't make the "i'm representing them" connection, largely because i'm just doing some random work on the case, not really doing anything of significance or even with my name on it.

still, it's pretty funny how [technically] i'm representing some people who decided against hiring me. hehe. i guess u never know how things will work out...

time to watch TV online.

finally...internet [again]

so, the day before turkey day my internet at home went out. actually, the entire phone line got screwed up somehow. lame. well, everything finally got fixed today and now i am happy. i can blog and so i shall.

last nite, after grabbing dinner with Nick and Jeremy, we headed back to my apartment and Laquita also came over a little later on. i have everyone over to help decorate my Christmas tree...always more fun with loved ones around. =] it was a good time and it was nice to get to spend some time with my brother considering i haven't seen him since much earlier this year [briefly while he was in the Bay area for a performance]. we packed the tree full of ornaments, fitting about as many as one possibly could on it.

with such a full tree, what did i do today? i went and bought some more ornaments. haha. every year i make a run to crate & barrel to pick up a few ornaments and i was yet to do so this year...until today. i somehow managed to squeeze them on. i really can't believe there are as many ornaments on there as there really are...but it makes for a tree i love. maybe it's time to invest in a new, bigger tree?

i love Christmas. it's my favorite holiday of the year...not just because of the getting of presents. i love the getting bundled up for cold weather, the music, the cheerfulness, how everything gets decorated...and honestly so many ppl just do seem jollier. as i walked around with my basket of ornaments today [i only picked up 4 more], i couldn't help but smile as i looked around at all the Christmas stuff [ornaments, plates, napkins, other decorations and dishes] and heard the Christmas music. =] for me, it is the most wonderful time of the year.

i finally bought someone a Christmas present today...the official start of my shopping for the season. i've got tons more that i want to do [not have to do but really want to do now that i'm finally working and getting my independence on]. anyway, there are pics up on the flickr of the decorating festivities. i've still got a few things i need to put up [other decorations, not ornaments]. now it's time to enjoy the tree a little and get to sleep [so i can get in to work at a good time and finish a couple of projects i meant to finish tonite but didn't due to not bringing the right stuff home and also just doing too many other things around the house].

[woohoo...cheesy Christmas colors!!!]

how things change...

I hope everyone had a good Turkey Day, I actually managed to have 2! My mom finally gave up Thanksgiving a few years back, allowing someone else to play host for a holiday, but we still cook up a turkey the day after. Why, I don't know. But I am NOT complaining. Seriously, Turkey Day food rocks! Anywho, like many other, I obviously have much to be thankful for: from my family and friends, to my job and the new ppl in my life, the changes in the past year and the things that stay the same...

Speaking of things changing and staying the same, this is the first time I've been home since I got a job. A few months of working makes me feel like on old a** man in some ways [obviously, the ways in which I feel things changed]. These changes are apparent when I come home: oddly, I fee much more like an adult. Sitting with the adults, engaging in their serious discussion, being acknowledged as an attorney [as if there is something special about it...it's just a silly job getting paid to do silly things], and so on. Different expectations, from myself and others to a certain extent. I almost feel like it's now inappropriate to just run downstairs and hide out before and after dinner.

It's funny because I overheard a conversation at dinner on Turkey Day where my dad and one of out family friends were discussing feeling young and how they feel they still think like they did at a much younger age, not comprehending the years that have gone by. I feel like such a child in so many ways, often laughing at the fact that I'm employed as a lawyer because I feel way too young, immature, and foolish to get paid to do what I do [i.e., I wouldn't pay me to do what I do]. I can't comprehend growing up and changing and maturing in some ways. I don't want to but beyond that I just don't know how or when it happens. But now I've come home and do feel some ways in which it has changed.

Yet many things stay the same. I still live in our basement and love it down here. Beyond that, kicking it with my best friend from high school [and I haven't seen him since Christmas time last year] was like it always is...as if we never skipped a beat. Doing the same things, being foolish in the same ways, enjoying the simplicity of throwing a funny mini-stuffed football around in the front yard...it's as good a time as any and just the way life is supposed to be lived. Sadly, his foolish self lives out in the greater Boston area and I'm on the other side of the country.

So some things never change, never will, and never should...I hope they never will at least [and the fact that they haven't over all these years, all these years of living out West in my own funny bubble, is reassuring]. A lot of things stay the same and I think it's important that those things do because they're a part of what makes each of us who we are as individuals. Anyway, this blog is still the same and the fact that I'm up late and need to go to bed is also always true. G'nite!

a long time coming

alright...i'm back with a vengeance...

so, another weekend trip to sf and another great time...even if the world seemed to conspire against me & Peter on saturday...obviously any trip to sf is a good time but it was just not our day...a run down of the not-highlights:

• BART being delayed
• Meeeeeeeeechigan's saddest offensive performance ever...EVER
• the redonkulous fog
• too many ppl at the Prince vs. MJ party
• too much Prince music at the Prince vs. MJ party
• not enough MJ at the Prince vs. MJ party

yet we still had a good time. as u can see below, we were getting hyphy with our own lil' pre-party in the longest hall:
on to the weekend highlights:

• yummy Noodle Theory
• dope beats in the Puma store & a new hat
• Chinese food
• youtubing up! [One Republic, Soulja Boy, Gorilla Zoe, T.I., Shop Boyz and the like]
• Hyphy Juice! [too bad we didn't score any]
• MJ vs. Prince party [even if it was lame]
• Sparks in da club!
• the group of peeps doing the Thriller dance together
• breakfast by 'Los
• chillin wit da ladies
• takin out the trash
• free ride to BART...with the most complicated automatic moving seat ever
• the shoes below [obviously the MJ shoes are the best...but still]
  

i could go on for days about sf...but that'd be lame. there are pics from da party on the flickr page so be sure to check 'em out!
__________

i'm an old man...

i'm sitting here with a heating pad on my back. how sad is that? my back is all messed up and i don't know why. on top of that i'm still illin a little bit. oddly, i felt better all weekend long and then crashed last nite when i got home. hopefully another good nite's sleep will get me all better [and i also hope this sinus rinse jeremy recommended will help with the nose and cough issues of late].

it's funny how u can take being normal for granted. i've been taking some form of something since last wednesday nite to feel better (from cough syrup, to theraflu, to cough drops) and it's annoying to not feel drugged in some fashion. it's also no fun feeling sick in general. and my back hurting for the past couple days just adds to the not feeling normal at all. i can't wait to be back to normal and do my best to maintain that status.

oddly, i up and get sick after probably being a little healthier by exercising a bit more and eating more veggies. i'm telling u, veggies are bad for u! haha.

__________

in other news...i've felt inspired to write lately but don't get around to it and then lose my thoughts, ideas, and what not. one thing i need to rant about is the MJ vs. Prince party. As I said to Peter, like communism, it was good in theory but not application.

first of all, why on earth would u let so many ppl into such a small space? u couldn't even dance, just stand there and get bumped into by others. um...it's Michael Jackson...his music inspires dance more than anyone else's and u're not gonna give us the space we need to bust a sweet groove...that's just wrong. wrong, i tell u...wrong!

second, how could u have such a party and rely so heavily on Prince's catalog of music? i respect Prince and everything...he's done some great things musically, even if it's not my personal flavor [mainly cuz i'm not into lameness]...but how the eff can a DJ play like 2, 3, or 4 Prince songs to every MJ song? first of all, how many great MJ songs are there? Rock With You, Billie Jean, Beat It, Smooth Criminal, Man in the Mirror, Thriller, Bad, Don't Stop Til You Get Enough, Black or White, The Way You Make Me Feel, You Rock My World, Dirty Diana, and P.Y.T. [the greatest song of all time]...among others. Seriously...how could u possibly sleep on MJ like that? when u add into the mix the great songs that are MJ related [songs by the Jackson 5 as well as Janet Jackson]...there's no way Prince songs could outnumber MJ songs.

my final and third point is the following: look at a dance floor when u play Prince and when u play MJ. as great as Prince may be [according to some], the dance floor does not rock out to the same extent that it does when my man Michael gets played.

as u can see...the event was flawed and i doubt i will ever go to another one, unless I'm DJ'ing the event and that will likely result in an MJ party, with Little Red Corvette thrown in at some point...maybe.

well, i should get my sleep on...and by get my sleep on i mean go and watch last week's episode of scrubs that i taped...woop woop! =]

has it been that long?

damn...i really have meant to write here lately but i've been a bit busy and now i'm sick. i'm gonna post something meaningful soon [either tomorrow if or monday...depending on if i feel well enough to head north for the weekend]. anywho...the absence of writing here blows but it's time for bed for me.

the influence of history

Today I went to check out the ©MURAKAMI exhibit at The Geffen Contemporary at MOCA. I first learned of his work thru the latest kanYe West album and really loved what he did when it came to the artwork for the album. The exhibit was amazing and I definitely got to see a lot more of Murakami's work and learn a bit about him.

It was the first time I've ever gone to a museum on my own, but just like occasionally taking in movies by myself, it was a lot of fun and in some ways it's own unique, better experience. I probably spent more time reading the little blurbs than I ever really have before. Anyway, that's not what I meant to write about...

In reading about his works today, many of the descriptions included an explanation of the styles that influence Murakami...how his works incorporated various elements of past Japanese art or were similar to past works. It reminded me of taking art class back in like 7th or 8th grade. I found it strange the to learn how to draw in a less traditional, less formalistic, more comical manner it was necessary to first learn how to draw in a traditional, formal manner. I didn't want to draw realistic images, I wanted to create awesome doodles, caricatures, and the like.

Today reminded me of why it is important to study art in order to create great works of art [not that I've created anything I'd call great...and it's probably due to a lack of study on my part]. Possessing a foundation of knowledge of the traditional, the formal, the whatever u want to call it is important in allowing one the ability to become more improvisational and creative with ones work. Look at jazz: in order to improvise it is first necessary to know and understand chords and chord progressions and much more. It's no different for other art forms.

I think the same lessons are true for art history as well. I guess learning history involves learning the traditional to a certain extent. Besides formal techniques, there is much to be learned from the works of those who came before us, including the ways it is possible to go beyond the formal and how to stretch or exceed what everyone thought were the boundaries at the time. This applies well beyond the realm of art and into most every aspect of life.

I often wish I pursued the arts more full-heartedly. Now I tend to tell myself it's too late. I know it's not, at least not too late to learn more and pursue my artistic interests as a serious hobby [fulfilling my life in an important way]. I do wish I realized these things in college...but maybe I'll get to take some classes in the things that interest me without the pressures of being in school trying to get good grades and make it to the next thing in life...

Anyway...museums are a lot of fun and I plan on continuing to take in as much as I can. A list of artists whose work I'd like to own would definitely include the following...

• Rene Magritte
• Justin Bua [I do own a small drawing he made on tracing paper!]
  
• Takashi Murakami
  

Getting my hands on works of theirs alone would be difficult enough so I'll leave the list at 3 for now. I need to become filthy rich just so I can have a badass art collection...like Pierce Brosnan in The Thomas Crown Affair. Being a stellar art thief would be sweet too! [Thankfully I do own some sweet works by some of my close friends...and that alone is a great art collection in my opinion]

already written

a preemptive attempt…

So, my internet isn’t working yet so I’m “blogging” by writing in Word and I’ll just paste it to the blog tomorrow [hopefully], but I’m finally all moved into the new apartment. I finally emptied out the last few remnants in the old place and spent tonite cleaning it out [always fun]. As I finished up vacuuming and turned to lock the door to apartment 204 for the last time that feeling of hating moving kinda struck me…it saddened me to be honest.

It’s more than just the feeling of an empty space, barren after being so full of things and life. A while back I wrote about chapters closing in life and saying goodbye to that apartment is the closing of another chapter in life or really the last sentence in the chapter that closed a while back.

I guess I felt more at home in that little space than I realized…that’s what really makes is sad to close the door and lock it knowing I will probably never go in there again. I mean that in a literal sense, not a metaphorical one. As comfortable as I feel in my new surroundings, I still need to organize and get a few things and I’m just yet to make this space my own completely. A part of me also feels I will only be here 9 months…with such a defined amount of time I think a part of me is tempted to never grow as attached and comfortable as I could. But 9 months is a long time [someone I know would say you could make a baby in that time…but that’s not what I’m hoping for…] and I’m sure I will soon feel truly settled here [maybe once I get that new TV I desperately crave]. And then the day to move will come again and I’m sure I’ll feel the same way again.

I think it’s a sign of how, at first, change isn’t always welcome or comfortable. At the same time change tends to bring many good things…like all the changes of the past handful or so of months have led to where I am right now, a really good place. There’s just an adjustment period. What’s really funny is how certain changes can almost go unnoticed. For example, when u make a great new friend, come across a new love interest, or even get a new coworker your life can change by the role this new individual plays in your life. But it’s easy to not think of life as changing, it’s normal to not feel the hesitancy towards change that can be felt, for example, in the opposite types of situation [i.e., where someone leaves your life].

Anyway, I’m stinking tired after waking up early to finish an assignment for work that didn’t get done because we got box seats to the Lakers season opening game last nite. All I have to say: that was an amazing experience, probably the best sporting experience so far in my life [aside from ending up on the front page of the sports section of an Indiana newspaper, pictured asleep during a Meeeeeeeeeeeechigan rout of Indiana back when I was a little kid]. Box seats are amazing…I doubt if I’ll ever have such an awesome opportunity again…but if you ever do be sure to take it!

no internets

so, i'm still yet to get the phone and internet working in my new apartment [altho the problem is apparently one the manager needs to fix as opposed to at&t] but i hope to be back online soon. i even wrote a blog post the other nite on my computer and saved it as a word document to paste here later. alas, that was on my desktop and i'm sitting here at work with my laptop.

i'm cutting out of here soon as soon as i finish writing here] and am really looking forward to a weekend of nothingness. i plan on relaxing, hanging artwork, going to a museum, watching football, and also hopefully getting out to take some fotos. ahh the weekend.

i'll need the rest of this weekend: to make up for the moving of the past week and a half and also to make sure i have enough in the tank for the rest of the year. looking at my calender it's going to be a busy 2 months. after this weekend i only have 1 weekend for the rest of the year where i won't be traveling or entertaining a guest at my apartment. on top of that i'm probably going to SF for New Year's even tho i get back from Michigan just to go to work for one day and then after work go up to SF.

i dunno, it sounds kinda ridiculous in some ways. obviously it'd be nice to have more of my circle down here in LA and hopefully my circle down here will grow. but at the same time i kinda enjoy the travels, the visitors, the feeling of either not being in LA or having someone not from LA there. it makes the weekend feel like more of an escape.

i can fall into being a real homebody. i've spent many a saturday drifting in and out of consciousness while lying on the couch watching football. so i guess when i am going to go in the opposite extreme. it results in a good balance. i'm sure i'll spend a good amount of time in January laying low. but i'm really excited about the next 2 months and keeping busy and getting to see lots of ppl i really love seeing.

but, now it's time to get started on one of those restful, lazy-a** weekends of accomplishing nothing with myself [except i do plan on doing a few fun things...i'm geeked about the murakami exhibit i plan on checking out sunday afternoon...if u don't know, he did the artwork for the latest kanYe West album].

ps - thanks to everyone for the well wishes about going to court. it went well and was really, really brief. i pretty much said my name and who i represent and wrote down a couple dates and that was that. thankfully i got sent to handle a really easy matter and got the chance to work on my nerves in a low key context to start off. more thoughts on litigating later...i just want to get home and veg out now...but i really appreciate all the support!

First nite in my new bed! First court appearance tomorrow too! Nervous & excited. Good nite world!

see blog title

I'm lying on the floor of my old apartment, surrounded by essentially nothing [my empty wardrobe, a small TV that isn't even mine, my DSL router and my wireless router which isn't working right now, my printer, and a lot of dust]. I'm in here because my phone and internet service won't get moved until Thursday and it just seemed right to close this place out with one last entry from here.

I moved here about one year and two months ago [I believe the exact date was August 25th]. Life is different in many ways since then and I'm happy to be where I am now. In the end I'd say every change has been for the better, even if it didn't always seem like it at the time. I spend a lot of time reflecting, thinking about past experiences but not living in the past. The past year taught me a lot and it seems like now I have a better picture of where I want to be another year from now [if not less than that]. The most important thing is to learn from our experiences, if you can then they are worth the time and effort that went into them.

Back to the moving topic, I've always hated moving. I hate seeing an apartment that used to be full of things and memories emptied out. I hate moving into a new place with everything a mess and with no ties to it. I guess the good thing about this short move is that I felt at home still [due to obvious similarities in appearance, etc.] and I was able to move things and put them in an appropriate place while doing so. I'm geeked about the new place and can't wait to get a bed tomorrow [assuming Josie doesn't flake on me]. Still a few things to figure out [mostly involving when to get a new TV, what to do about the lack of a cable jack in the bedroom, and how to set up my internet based on where my desk is and the phone jack locations]. It's nice having such a different experience moving.

I think my next move will be a much more significant one in terms of distance and what it means in what's going on with my life and I look forward to seeing where I get to go next. Like I said, the last year and something involved a ton of change and a lot of learning. I feel like I'm starting to really get my head into work more and moving forward in the learning curve [altho I still have a lot to learn and a lot to get better at]. I'm also learning from past relationships and really enjoying dating someone and just getting to know someone new and really cool. The one area I could work on is developing more friendships down here in LA but I think that mattered received some attention in previous posts.

I dunno what more to say really. I look back at this now empty place and think about everything that happened since moving down here and all I know is I'm happy to be where I am now, knowing all I do and everyone I do. For a while I was stuck in the past in some ways, holding on to something that had long been gone [probably longer than I realized]. Now I'm really in the present and looking forward and back to being foolish ass, generally worry free, silly, dorky Lou...and I have been for the past couple months. I guess seeing it's been that way for a couple months and seeing the feeling persist combined with getting into a new place/space...it's just really something that's hitting me in a revelatory fashion.

Well, my back is hurting from sitting/lying on the floor in here and I've got to put some stuff away in the new pad. But I do hope to continue blogging frequently once I get all moved into the new digs...house warming party anyone?

One Hundred!

With this post my blog turns 100. There are 2 additional posts that are saved as drafts [one necessary for my profile pic and the other is my running list of reasons to move back to San Francisco (which can also be seen as my gchat status message)]. My last blog made it to just a few posts past 100 I think and then the time came to change it up. This blog reached what I personally consider somewhat of a milestone in much less time, even if some of the posts were silly as message posted via text message [a feature I need to take better advantage of in the future].

I think I got here faster out of a need to write more; writing became something I needed for a few months, even if just to ramble on about somewhat significant and oftentimes insignificant topics. I know it's just repetition but the writing has slowed in part out of distraction and also just in part because of stepping into a new phase in life where writing is a little less of a necessity. Yet it's still something I thoroughly and enjoy doing and should do more of any time I get the chance.

Looking back on this latest attempt at blogging I feel like I've covered a lot of ground, gone through some pretty significant experiences, learned a lot, and used this space to take a step back at times, allowing for greater reflection and a better perspective. Sometimes writing here just helps me figure something out. Other times I just amuse myself with silly thoughts. But in the end it provides a space to be creative, even if that creation comes in the form of a pseudo-intellectual personal discourse with either myself or the imaginary person out there reading this silly thing. At the end of the day I'm really glad I started a blog just under 2 years ago. I hope my blogging has evolved [from just writing about current events in my life to something with some kind of meaningfulness to it] in that time. But all that really matters is I'm still here doing this, growing with it, and taking the time to spend on my own with my thoughts, emotions, and reflections whether they are serious, silly, or just tangential to everything. Here's to 100 more entries...
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I spent another weekend traveling to San Francisco this past weekend. I flew home in the evening and exhaustion prevented me from blogging Sunday night. I knew this was the 100th post and I wanted to put some effort into it, even if I'm sleepy right now and should get in bed. It's been pretty interesting lately when it comes to my thoughts and feelings on San Francisco. Honestly, the past few weeks came with a serious desire to get back there as soon as possible. I guess spending 6 of the 9 last weekend can have that effect. But last weekend (not this past one but the one before that) a couple of good friends came to LA and we kicked it which was awesome. They were my first real visitors in LA and it brought a lot of joy to play host for once [especially since I always play guest with those guys]. I hope to get them down here again [maybe with a couple more homies] and I look forward to my next visitor from the Yay area.

But the desire to move and also a certain level of eagerly anticipating taking a step forward in the work world made for some personally difficult days at work. I know a career takes time to develop and one must pay dues along the way, taking one step after another - it's a journey. But I grow somewhat impatient at times and more importantly I'm getting a better, more refined image of what I really hope to end up doing. I don't mean to complain because I know how lucky and blessed I am to have the job I do [I'm going to court for the first time next week which is rather scary in some ways even if it's supposed to be a pretty straightforward matter]. But I do also hope to take some big steps in the coming years to move forward with things.

Knowing I'd like to end up in a different location and getting this better picture of what I want out of work led to some periods of dissatisfaction. Stupid? Of course. But I guess times like those provide some of the drive to stay on top of things and to not lose sight of who I really am and what all that entails.

Getting up to the Bay provided a nice fresh breath but also knocked some sense into me in that upon returning [as much as I missed the location and the people up there] I felt a sense of readiness to tackle things back here. I also know I could make more of an effort to meet people and develop more of a network in Los Angeles. But I hesitate in part because it's hard to imagine people playing the roles so many up North do in my life.

Anyway, another great weekend which included some of the following highlights...

• getting really gross pizza
• farting and pooping discussions
• dancing with the homies [see the last post for all the thoughts on hitting the club]
• open-faced egg sandwiches from Duboce Park Cafe
• both UCLA and Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeechigan winning important games against quality opponents [and calling 2 turnovers in the UCLA game before they happened]
  
• 3 dogs: the one trying to get some food from me, the one lounging in the sun, the one dragging its a** along the sidewalk
• listening to music at funny speeds
• yummy Chinese food [eating some veggies!]
• watching Scary Movie 2 [I'm not sure why I own that movie]
  
• brunch at Rockridge Cafe
• encountering all the Raiders fans as I made my way to the airport

I think the lists of fun events, occurrences, and happenings in San Francisco explain why I posses a strong desire to end up back there one day. But until then I'll just focus on work and trying my best and learning as much as possible. Like I wrote about moods, when it comes to work and Los Angeles it's largely about perspective; how you look at and approach something can make a huge difference.
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Well, it really is getting late and I need to try to get in a little early tomorrow to make up for likely leaving early again. I came home early today to sign the lease for my new apartment but my manager was nowhere to be found. Annoying but I managed to do some work at home tonight. But it means I must leave early again tomorrow [but not until I call and make sure my manager will actually stick around]. I really hope I get the paperwork done tomorrow and can start moving stuff and getting settled down the hall. A little change will be nice.

Aside from that, I'm also looking forward to getting home for the holidays (Turkey Day and Christmas). I think going back home to Ann Arbor is vital to my well-being. Obviously seeing family is really important and always a refresher. On top of that I think Ann Arbor just plays a role in my life: providing a certain grounding to my mind and emotions. I guess it really is going home and getting back to my roots a bit, remember where I come from and what role that plays in who I am today. Also reminding me how I've come a long way [not just physically in terms of the distance but also as an individual in that I started a life for myself out here in California where I knew no one when I arrived a little over 8 years ago - holy crap, it's been that long?] and can get through anything that comes my way, with the help of those closest to me as an individual.

I'm really happy I get to go home for the amount of time I do [I expected less]. I'm also just really happy to have the opportunities in life I do [from work to the ability to go up North on a whim to the people I know and who play important roles in my life]. But, as I mentioned before heading down this silly little tangent, it's time to brush up and get some sleep.

Thanks to all those readers who tune in and stuck around thru these 100 posts. I'm glad you all read this and get to at least know a little of what's going on in my life and head. =]
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A couple quick points:

• click on the image at the top of the page if you want to see the animated version I hoped would show up but I don't think did
• I added some new links on the right [a couple great blogs and a fun new website that's a sweet source for news and interesting articles and videos] - be sure to check them out!
  

late nite lyin on the couch

i'm lying on my boys' couch after another nite out on the town in sf with the homies. as always, a good time. i think it's just the mentality that ensures a good time is guaranteed: instead of worrying about anything we just roll with the focus of having fun with good friends. a good time is always had.

as is often the case, we went to get our dance on...thankfully my homies are all about gettin' down [prolly part of why they're my ppls in the first place]. i loving dancin. to be honest i have lots of private dance parties at home on my own. u gotta get your practice on somewhere, right?

anywhere, my thoughts as i lie here [yet again] are about how funny ppl in da club are a lot of the time. obviously it depends on where u go, but u get all kinds of hilariousness at clubs. u've got the gurls who love getting all the attention but don't actually want to dance with anyone. then there are the guys who are just horn-balls, trying to dance up on every gurl from behond, sneakin & creepin up on the ladies. there are the raunchy couples getting way too freaky for the world to see. let's not forget the guys who just stand there and watch, checkin out gurls but refusing to dance themselves [as if it would be lame of them to do so]. some of the best ppl are the ones who just aren't very good at dancing but still love to boogie the nite away.

in the end, i could just sit there and ppl watch and enjoy the hell out of myself. but that ain't my style. sometimes u just gotta get wild with your peeps and just dance. not trying to bust up on anyone or even really giving a crap about anyone there, instead just feeling the beat and enjoyin the ppl u're there with. tonite was one of those nites. it was refreshing and something i needed because the last few times i'd seen some of the homies up here our plans got scattered and we kinda ended up going in separate directions. it was good to just roll with it tonite.

well, i'm pretty exhausted from the dancing...time to pass out...

song of the nite: T.I. - Big Things Poppin' [while not played at the club, it definitely set our nite off right]

moods...

being in a bad mood sucks. i woke up today with a severe case of the mondays. the weather sucked [all cloudy and misty out], it was monday, another fun weekend ended, another fun weekend was days away, and i was just plain tired. it didn't really go away and i didn't get much done at the office [prompting me to leave a little early just because i knew there was no point staying].

while i was in this funky mood of grouchiness i realized 2 things...

1. it was national grouch day [at least in canada]

2. i could easily move myself out of the grouchy mood with just a little bit of effort

as for #2, i really think it's possible to alter your mood and that moods are about your mindset and attitude and outlook. sometimes that's obviously not the case but i think when it's that bad it's not really a bad mood but actually something provides a reason for u to feel down. but when u're just in a funked out mood i believe u can get out of it if u really put in the effort [which might not be all that much in the end].

did i do so today? not really. i kinda just relished in grouchiness. going to McDonald's for lunch was fun and helped [altho getting the exact same pair of monopoly pieces on my fries and drink was the ultimate in lame]. taking a little nap when i got home also was enjoyable and the evening at home was pleasant.

i don't know why i just sat there in a funk today. in part i just wanted to stay in the mood or more accurately i didn't feel like putting in any effort. it's not really how i roll but today i made an exception. haha. anyway, my brief thoughts for the nite...tomorrow is another day and a chance to be more productive...but that will involve some sleep...

i want to be blogging

i don't really like the idea of writing here just for the sake of writing here (i.e., i hope to have something of at least trivial importance to say, some point of sorts...as opposed to just putting words on a page so to speak). At the same time I still feel at a loss for topics of significant importance when in comes to writing here.

by significant importance i don't mean things that really matter in the grand scheme of things but rather things that inspire me to write, topics i actually sit around and am like: damn, i need to write about that. as i've said before i feel this lack in writing of recent has to do with a multitude of factors, one of the biggest being the fact that i've already written so much.

yet i still get urges to write. i was sitting at work today and really, really wanted to write on my blog. i guess it's kinda like crack in a way...an addiction of sorts. from writing so much it's something i because accustomed to do, writing everyday or every couple of days. now i need to write just to feel normal...haha. thankfully it isn't truly an addiction: i still really enjoy writing and it's not just something i need a fix of but rather something that provides a lot to and for me.
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anyway...one thing i've given thought to as of late is, as always music. i'm always in need of more music, something new, something i haven't heard before. during law school i sent out a mass email asking for musical recommendations, with an emphasis on the old school [be it old school hip-hop or old school r&b - from early 90s and 80s stuff all the way back to motown].

i feel like some ppl who know me best understand my passion for music and i think it's pretty obvious how much i love it. but sadly my musical knowledge is lacking, especially when it comes to the musical past. sadly i didn't look into nearly enough of the stuff recommend. i should dig around and see if i can find those old emails. i also want to send out another one [but mass emails always seem to receive a less than warm welcome] obviously i'd welcome anyone suggestions here...feel free to leave a comment [no matter how long it gets, i'd be more than happy to have stuff to look into, listen to, and just get to discover]. seriously, any recommendations are more than welcome, be it something u think i would like or just some of your favorite stuff...
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speaking of mass emails, be on the lookout for a short one from me in a couple of weeks. i've been sleeping on updating this news, but i found a new place to live! it's a whopping 35 feet or so away from...









where i live right now! HA! it turns out that i got really lazy about moving and am just going to move into a bigger apartment in my building. it's on the same floor, so moving should be easier. in the end the laziness came about due to a couple of different factors: 1) i hadn't found a new place to live by the time i needed to give 30 days notice, 2) this way i can save on not having to throw down a new security deposit or rent a truck, 3) the rent is really good for what i'm getting, 4) i'm going to rock a 9 month lease which will run out during the same month i'll hit 1 yr of employment (assuming i don't get fired b4 then), 5) i get like 8 days to move stuff down the hall b4 i have to be out of my current apartment...

so, i'll shoot out an email soon with the new address...and by address i mean new apartment #...haha...anyone interested in coming over for a house warming part sometime in November?
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well...i should get to bed...a couple of my boys are rolling down to LA tomorrow nite which should make for an awesome weekend. it'll be nice having visitors instead of being the visitor, especially since i'm always crashing with these guys...anyone else wanna come visit me in LA? holla at me and let me know...soon i'll be in a 1 bedroom apartment and u'll have an actual place to sleep besides my floor [altho i borrowed a king-size aerobed for my boys...which it probably nicer than the thing i sleep on as of now...can't wait to get a new bed and a phat new TV]

getting back to it...

after writing about how i need to get back to writing here, i somehow managed to no just the opposite. personally, it kinda gnaws at me on some silly level [in the sense that i'm not writing and also in that i said i would do X and took longer than i should have to do so]. i've slacked off, been uninspired [mainly due to wanting to write about topics i sometimes feel are too serious for this arena], and just been busy.

but enough with the excuses and on to whatever comes out of my mind...

so, i made what i believe was my 5th trip in 7 weekends up to SF this past weekend. the reason this trip was a bit different was most ppl didn't know about my plan. i wanted to surprise a couple different ppl and definitely succeeded with at least one of them...as for the other, read on... some highlights (as per usual post-SF blogging):

• winning the breakfast sammich of my choice by playing the McDonald's Monopoly game as I drove north
• actually succeeding in surprising someone (i can be terrible at keeping a surprise from someone)
  
• Bugs sniffing my butt (I'm referring to a dog, not insects...how gross would that be?!?!?!?!)
• not surprising Peter because he wasn't at the Bayside when I was
• being funny and going shopping with Peter and also taking in The Kingdom
• the classy dinner: pepperoni pizza and chicken kickers from Domino's
  
• Crashing girls nite out
• really funny attempts at getting into the clubs in North Beach without waiting in any of the lines
• ending up back at Fuse (and the 5 minutes of good music - 5 minutes of bad music rotation)
• 'fishing' back!
  
• "Are your friends into Korean men? Are they into affirmative action?"
• more late nite Chinese food
• breakfast of champions: double bacon cheeseburger from Burger King
  
• finally playing some golf and getting to catch up with a good buddy from law school
• the perfect fall weather up in SF

my new thing is going to be listing reasons for moving back to the City on my gchat status message. i think the 5 out of 7 shows how much i love the place (i'll be back at the end of next week and this weekend a couple of my boys from up there are coming down here).
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as for more serious topics, there have been many articles in the news lately of serious interest to me. while i spent a lot of time pontificating on the issues and writing about them, sadly it was in another forum (albeit one i thoroughly enjoy and waste too much time whilst at work on). even so, some thoughts of late...

the music industry:

The music industry won the first case brought against an alleged file-sharer to actually go get to a jury. Most of the thousands of other cases all ended in settlements for a few thousand dollars. [Interestingly, I saw somewhere that the recording industry is losing money thru all the settlements because the legal fees from bringing the claims in the first place are higher than what is received thru the settlements...I dunno whether that is true or not altho it does seem likely.] It's really unfortunate to see the recording industry sue its customers. beyond being bad business, it just upsets me. By complaining about lagging CD sales and blaming it on file-sharing and suing everyone in sight, the recording industry is screwing up in a handful of ways.

• It's as if they're trying to force CDs down our throats by pinning the blame in the way they do.
  
• They refuse to take any semblance of responsibility for the decline in sales [where is the accountability: how come no one saw this technology coming? why, when it became so hugely popular did they try to shut it down as opposed to embrace? what about all the crappy music that is out there these day?].
  
• They're alienating their customers by attacking them. Pushing away customers is not going to help CD sales or digital sales either.
  
• One of the legal minds at Sony argued that ripping a CD to your computer and placing the ripped music on your mp3 player is stealing - why is someone paying for such ridiculous arguments? And does Sony expect anyone to buy the CD and then go ahead and buy the mp3 as well?
  
• They're failing to realize that their current business model is flawed and that, in the end, music is about music, not profits and making money and the bottom line.

I feel this last point is supported by all the buzz about the latest Radiohead album. In a giant "F@%$ u!" to the record labels, Radiohead are putting out their latest album on their own, not thru a label, and only online thru their website. As I'm sure most anyone who comes across this already knows, they're allowing the customer to decide how much he or she is willing to pay. While I'm sure many will download the album for the minimum (which I believe is 2 cents) there are also many others who will pay more reasonable prices. And that, in the end, is what it is all about: reasonableness.

If good music is being made and the cost of said music is reasonable, I guarantee people would purchase it, even with file-sharing technology around making it easy to get what you want for free. I have gone out and bought many albums from my favorite artists because I know the music is good and I want to support these individuals, even if they don't really need the money. Could I just go ahead and download the music illegally for free? Of course I could. But the reason I don't is because I want to show my support and appreciation for something/someone...not because the law says no [don't get me wrong, I'm in no rush to do what I'm not allowed to but my point is that the real motivation is something the record companies can influence whereas it is much harder to deter someone from file-sharing, as the lawsuits show because even tho they're suing everyone it still happens].

The way the recording industry is set up takes away all the proper incentives: it takes away the incentive to make really good music, it takes away the incentive to pay for music. Beyond not wanting to buy crappy music, think about this: the artists make their money off of touring and merchandise sales [not records sales and not even licensing deals because the record companies own the master copies and licensing rights to the music for the most part]. So, if I care about an artist and want to support the artist, I'll do more in that endeavor by going to a concert or buying a t-shirt. I could go on for days, but I really shouldn't.

To be honest, a few months of work has shown me [as mentioned previously] that there are some things in life I am really passionate about and I want those things to be a part of my work life as well. Hopefully, in time, I will be able to bring everything in line [that's what it's all about right, taking a step forward so you can get closer to where you want to be?] and possibly make some small difference I feel is meaningful [i.e., I'm going to change the world in a big way for the better...ha!].

But yea, the music industry is all kinds of jacked up and it's unfortunate because there is so much potential. It's clear musicians aren't in it just for the money [or that many aren't]. Think about how many friends you have who are in a band or just think about how many bands there are out there playing local gigs, making no money off their music but continuing to make music and perform. I'm sure some people are about the money and that's unfortunate. There's nothing wrong with making big money off it I guess, but it shouldn't be why you do something like create music. But my point is that there are so many people out there willing to make amazing music for no money at all. The money only matters because of the record companies; they're ones who are only concerned with the bottom line, as opposed to artistic integrity, creativity, quality. Yes, musicians should be rewarded monetarily for their efforts [I'm not about to go off and say they don't deserve to get paid], but for all the griping about file-sharing, it's not the artist who is complaining too much [or even the one hurt by it all]. To shift topics, speaking of people getting paid...
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education in america...

I've come across a few articles about the current status of education in this country over the past few weeks. There was the results of the "No Child Left Behind" program, showing moderate [if even that] gains in some areas [altho there were no gains in others]. Articles on affirmative action were also of interest. An op-ed about the need for better education overall came across my eyes and pretty much summed up a lot of what the other articles inspired in my mind.

I am not going to debate whether or not affirmative action is a good or bad thing [I find Clarence Thomas's opinions on the matter rather annoying and foolish...altho I feel that way about many of his opinions] and I don't know enough about "No Child Left Behind" to fairly speak on it [altho I'm sure I could sound like I know enough to do so, haha].

At the end of the day, I'm just going to get back to my point from a few posts ago: the education system in this country is in need of severe repair. The disparity in terms of the best and worst schools is deplorable and robs so many individuals of the opportunity to learn, grow, and make a difference in this world. I know I am blessed when it comes to schooling: I went to a funky and amazing Montessori school for elementary school and then an amazing college prep school for junior high [what we termed "middle school"] and high school. After that [and largely because of the schools I went to] I went on to UCLA and then Hastings for law school. I'm sure there are a ton of kids out there who could or could have accomplished much more than I if given the opportunities I received. Not to say I didn't take advantage of the opportunities or try my best...I just know there are people more gifted than I am [ok, so maybe not but still].

Anyway, it shouldn't be like that. I mean, to a certain extent there must be individual accountability and certain people need to also take some level of responsibility, such as parents. You can't force anyone to learn in the end, but parents can play a crucial role in creating the desire to learn, grow, succeed. But beyond that, the system needs to do the same. There should be books, there should be good teachers who inspire students, there should be so many things that are missing right now.

Speaking of teachers, now I can explain how I got here from the music industry. I've discussed whether or not entertainers [such as musicians, actors, etc.] and athletes are overpaid for what they go. My opinions aside, it's clear that the educators of our future are, for the most part, not paid well enough. Apparently we don't value those who play one of the biggest roles in molding and shaping out futures. Personally, the teachers throughout my life in 'lower' education [if college and grad school are 'higher' education I'm assuming high school and earlier are 'lower'] played significant roles in my life. I feel they provided a sense of direction and imparted certain lessons, values, attitudes, or maybe just ways of thinking that have stuck with me throughout my life and gotten me to where I am now.

There are many great teachers out there and I'm sure there are many not great teachers too. I think we need to appreciate our educators more and obviously compensate them better, but at the same time it's also important to ensure they are doing a good job. One of the articles I read showed how paper tests done to evaluate teachers are pretty much useless; something needs to be done about that fact. You can't just throw money at any problem; you need to ensure high quality teachers are available to all and at every level. Problems like a lack of diversity in higher education and just the general academic failings of this country occur on many levels and it is important to address each level, with a focus on getting to the root of it all.
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In the end I get frustrated with myself. I sit here with all these opinions on matters but don't do much about them. I was definitely not the public interest person at Hastings and never did much but sit and study in college. When it comes to my career ambitions they're aligned more along the lines of the artistic/creative...almost getting into the entertainment field [altho I honestly believe my passions lie in something deeper than just becoming some hot shot entertainment lawyer]. I do hope to at the least use my law degree to make some contribution to the artistic world.

As a way of combining the two big topics of this ridiculous post, I'll write about this: programs like "Save the Music" are awesome. I learned about how important extracurricular activities can be for kids in elementary school and high school. In particular, it appears that music programs and other arts can be particularly beneficial. As of now I'd like to find my way into some involvement along those lines and more generally supporting the arts.

It's easy to look at the arts and just see the mainstream: see the actors and the performers on the big stage. When looked at in this manner one sees a certain triviality to being involved in that world: the Hollywood image where people are just overly rich, get away with anything they want, and so on. That's not really the world I envisions myself a part of with my legal career. Don't get me wrong, I would like to be a part of certain portions of that world. I would like to be a part of the music industry, hopefully generating some amount of change and doing more to protect the creators, more to ensure a higher quality product is produced, more to make the industry thrive for the right reasons [as opposed to bullying people who really can't do much but give in, hopefully being able to pay the few thousands just to settle]. But I would also like to work with smaller artists, to work with arts foundations and organizations that help out the struggling artist who just needs the right opportunity or that ensure kids in schools get the chance to explore their creative abilities.

I'm sure some of this is just a romantic vision of life I possess. Some of it is simply an interest in a variety of different things because I'm young, inexperienced, and don't know precisely what I want to do with my life. Another factor is the not necessarily knowing exactly how to get where I want to be problem. Anyway, enough rambling...I guess this is what happens when you go a while without blogging after doing so consistently for a period of time. But will I have anything else to write about anytime soon?

Well, to cap off...here are some of the articles I read that inspired some of tonite's thoughts [I actually started this post while at work today and then just now finished it up...]:

• the future of the music industry: a quorum
  
• Music industry sues it's customers and wins...sadness
• related: wow, going after someone with 2 kids who makes $36,ooo a year - the recording industry must really be pressed for cash [I guess it's not as bad as when they named some kid in one of their suits]
  
• Sony's lame thievery argument [this one really upsets me]
• Radiohead says pay what u want
  
• an article on affirmative action
  
• the need for better schools
• an interesting article about college admissions

things I've just now come across:

• a funny open letter to the RIAA
• my nerdy side: a legal look at the appeal in the RIAA's most recent victory
• is the RIAA losing money on all of this?
• file-sharing continues to grow

I admit this was a somewhat different post for me in some ways, commenting on current affairs, but I think it's might become more regular...life has settled quite a bit since earlier months of this year and introspection, while constant, occurs at a different pace and in a different manner these days...anyway...I'm sleepy.

i'm at work

but my blogging has fallen off and it's starting to annoy me. there are a variety of reasons for it, including writing in other spaces and talking to ppl and just being plain preoccupied, distracted, and what not...but this is me saying i'm going to get back to writing more and by making that claim hopefully providing an incentive to do so (i.e., i like to follow thru on things). so...stayed tune for more soon (hopefully tonite).

musical politicking...

Before I get serious, I came across this quote late last nite:

But outside of that, I just made it so it's also good music. It can be your interpretation of what you want it to be, however you want to enjoy it.
- Lupe Fiasco on his upcoming album The Cool

He was referring to how some of the songs on The Cool are about a character from his first album, Food & Liquor. Anyway, I've long felt that way about art in general and it's a sentiment expressed probably a few times on this blog: for me, either in creating something or observing something, interpretation plays a huge role. It's something the artist cannot take into account, aside from having his or her own interpretation, and it is something that is informed by our life experiences (and possibly inexperiences) as individuals.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn by pointing out this quote. Honestly I found it really interesting to hear it coming from someone who actually does create art for a living, as opposed to just a silly thought I had one day. Obviously artists put out something particular for the world to see, something they want everyone to see. But at the end of the day we each take what we want, need, or just do from the things we observe.
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Speaking of which, a friend sent me this article from the New York Times website today [it's actually an article from the AP, another article on the topic can be found here]. [Let me note that I could easily lose myself in that website, I always fund something worth reading after I feel like there can't be anything else worth reading]. As I told my friend, it's a situation I'm rather torn on.

For those not interested in reading the article(s), the backdrop for this personal discussion I'm having with my mind is about the Congressional hearing that took place today (technically yesterday now) regarding the use of degrading language in hip-hop music. It's been much more of a topic of discussion since the Don Imus scandal.

I don't know if I'm capable of giving my thoughts justice in writing here but I find myself confused on where to stand on the issue. Yes, somethings are really offensive, unnecessary, and to be honest somewhat deleterious. At the same time, being of an oftentimes liberal mind and thinking about the First Amendment and law school, I'm a firm believer in free speech rights and strongly disagree with censorship. This is especially true in the artistic realm [although one possible argument is that for many it's not being an artist, it's a way "to make money money money make money money money"]. Stifling the creative process, even when said process runs along [or even passes] the line of decency is something I cannot agree with even if in some cases it makes sense.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying I want to hear degrading lyrics or want to support someone like Don Imus. Far from it. I definitely possess my personal beliefs on many different topics and they are often known to those around me. But just because I disagree with something or don't enjoy it doesn't mean I need to stamp it out. Also, is it possible there is some artistic or cultural merit to at least some of all this language that some want to do away with? [In addition, another article I read on the hearings today included a point made by Universal Music Group chairman and CEO Doug Morris when he noted that no one is pushing to do away with "'The Bitch Is Back' by Elton John even thought it contains one of the words some want to ban.

A ban on a few words is just silly. Words exist for a reason. They are a cultural creation and to a certain extent they possess whatever power you allow them too. Obviously certain words are very charged and just never need to be said, especially in certain contexts or used in certain ways or used at all. But to attempt to ban words makes no sense when some other word will just be used in their place.

Further, there was a time when even jazz music was considered unholy and wrong and inappropriate it. As for rap music, there definitely is some crap out there but an attempt to censor it or to ban certain words or anything along those lines will likely result in a reduction in creativity. The danger is that in doing away with the worst you will do away with things that are of merit, that truly are art, that possess a relevance, importance, lesson, story, or message that needs to be heard.

In the end, you can always choose to not listen to it. For me it kinda boils down to my thoughts on violence in video games and TV. It seems obvious exposure to such things can have an effect on children and people in general. But I feel that we need to take roles in the lives of children and ensure they can tell the difference between reality and fantasy. To be honest, when I was younger my dad wasn't a huge fan of be getting into rap music. But I knew it was just music, it was just words and not more than that. Having parents or other figures around to ensure children understand the difference between the creative world and how life really functions and how life should function when it is falling short of the ideal is more important than just trying to hide some words.

There needs to be some level of individual accountability in society and we should also hold ourselves more accountable for those around us whom we exert some influence over. We can all learn from each other and educate each other. Learning from one another, hearing diverse points of view, opening up to the world can provide a better understanding for the context which things originate from. With this understanding, maybe rap isn't the evil some make it out to be. Of course there are things that just don't need to be there, but isn't that true for every other art form? Extremes exist at both ends of the spectrum.
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I also found this article on the New York Times website today. It's about how exclusive colleges are, in terms of socioeconomic status in particular. The author, an op-ed contributor, basically argues for class-based affirmative action when it comes to college admissions.

It's an interesting theory, as affirmative action based on race is as well. I'm not going to go into thoughts on affirmative action in any great depth [I'm simply too tired to do so and I'd rather have that discussion with anyone interested in person, allowing for more of a open back-and-forth of opinions and ideas]. But I will say this: I always feel the root of the problem is at a much lower level than college admissions. The real problem is the education system in this country, starting well before college. I'm yet to meet someone who really disagrees with this point and it makes me wonder why there isn't more of a focus on lower education. Obviously it would require an enormous effort for the necessary overhaul to occur, but isn't that all the more reason to focus efforts there, as opposed to other areas?

To conclude, I remember learning in a psych class in college that we only remember 5%-10% of anything we're taught in college. That's sad.

another weekend and well, u know..

another weekend is over (and the new work week is already a day over actually), which means i made yet another trip to the Bay area. ha! i've decided Glendale is my home away from home. =p

anyway, it's late, i'm tired, and instead of this i should be sleeping...but oh well. i always like to write after my trips north and sometimes i actually have something interesting to say in this space. while i've got a couple of articles i've read recently i'd like to discuss, now is so not the time for that but i will get to them soon...

a rundown of some weekend highlights...

• um...watching The Last King of Scotland
• kicking it old school at the Bayside with Deefs and a few others
• Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeechigan winning an important game
• a tasty dinner at E & O Trading Company and a not awesome movie after (Good Luck Chuck - it had a few moments and way too many unnecessary boobs)
• discussing Justin Timberlake's growth as an artist/performer while watching an old concert from his Justified days
  
• chocolate chip (or really chunk) pancakes (mmm....yummy) and actually eating some fruit for once (strawberries this time)

not the craziest trip to the Bay i've ever had but that by no means it wasn't as good as all the others. seeing as it's 1:30 something now i should prolly stop and get some rest. but i did manage to do some work in the late nite tonite, reminding me of the glory days of law school when i'd get the most work done during these late hours...but i need sleep b4 going in at a reasonable hour tomorrow to finish things off (hopefully). g'nite!

epic

As I sat at my desk a couple weeks ago Deefs hit me up on the gchat with an awesome random comment. He simply said, "dude, the only thing that allows me to continue feeling epic right now is trance." This was during his first week back after spending a month in Scotland, a place near and dear to his heart. I dunno how many people get what he was talking about, but I did right away.

I probably couldn't describe feeling epic. I kinda did in a post a while back about feeling glorious. It's just feeling exactly what it sounds like: epic - larger than life, amazing, on top of it all. It's a great feeling...and sadly, as Deefs pointed out, hard to maintain [especially after something like a month in Scotland for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival]. As with Deefs, music is something that often provides that feeling. Last nite I went for a run and that definitely made me feel epic [it's nice when working out makes u feel spectacular as opposed to worn out]. But it's definitely something to strive for and more importantly to enjoy when it happens.

Life is full of all kinds of moments. Sometimes it's just really stinking hard. But through the difficult experiences I've faced [which I make no claim have been the most difficult], in the end each one taught me something important and helped me develop into the person I am now. The epic moments allow u to see that, in spite of anything bad that happens, good times will come too. They're both a necessary part of life...I honestly believe one wouldn't be what it is without the other...

and i don't care...

somehow it became 1:30-something and i'm not sure how. sleep is gonna happen soon but i wanted to write like i always do after making a run to the Bay. so yes, i made yet another run to the Bay area. this time the decision was made on saturday around noon or something. i was enticed by the promise of a 5 course meal with lots of bacon as well as good company.

anywho. my name is Louis and i'm addicted to spur of the moment trips from LA to the Bay area. =p the first step is admitting u got a problem, right? haha. there are too many good reasons to get up there and apparently there are reasons i didn't know about until recently. =p

well...as per the usual...highlights from my about 24 hours up in the Bay area:

• getting passed by a bootleg looking ambulance that had to be pushing 110 mph [and was not racing to pcick up/drop off anyone]
  
• mmmm...bacon [and a really good dinner in general]
  
• making fun of Babel [Surprise!]
  
• petrified babies
  
• continuing to get to know ppl better
• getting fished [that's actually more of a lowlight than highlight]
• watching Sam get 'fished' [now that was funny!]
  
• Noodle Theory
• hearing "Every Little Step I Take" as I switched CDs in my car...just the pick up i needed with about 40 minutes left in my drive and weariness setting in
  

not a bad list for such a short period of time. definitely worth the drive up...every trip to the Bay has been worth it. the best part? get to do it again this weekend! woohoo!

ok...now it's time for sleep.
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i still need and want to write about being epic. too tired to be epic right now, haha.