why?

u ever wonder why the world is the way it is? i'm guessing we all wonder about it at some point, in one way or another. tonite i started wondering why it is that, as they say, bad things happen to good people...and also why good things happen to seemingly bad people.

maybe the more important question is: what are u going to do about it (with "it" being the way the world is). i mean, in some ways u can't do anything about the why, even if u understand it. but, we're taught to believe that we can do things about our current circumstances, whatever they may be. changing present circumstances can be difficult and exhausting tho...and it again begs the question of why some are able to do it with what seems to be more ease than others.

it makes me wonder about whether external forces play some role in everything or whether we really can just change things. for example, my present job situation. i need to find new work (and i'm ready to do so and really want to do so). but sometimes i wonder why something doesn't just fall into my lap. i've definitely heard of such things happening...and i've also heard of people lining things up with much more ease than i ever have in the past. this is just an example and not something i mean to belabor or whine about (i know that currently i need to put more effort into job hunting as i have been out of the country and taking things easier as a personal break for myself).

i think this topic can easily blur into one about religious beliefs...it's probably in part related to such beliefs. i'm comfortable with my religious beliefs and feel i've reached said comfort by first being brought up in a certain religion, then learning at least a little about different religious, and finally reaching a point of questioning things and establishing my own set of values and beliefs on religion in general...but after babbling about this for a paragraph, it's not really the direction i want to go in here.

...as usual, i don't really know where i want to go with this and am just jotting down whatever comes to mind. i'm coming to realize this space really is just the ramblings of an odd individual who sometimes gets inspired to write but then grows distracted. maybe that has something to do with the why of things in life and the world...haha.

the more and more i think about it, i feel that while the why does matter and is of importance and consequence, it's not determinative of outcomes and one needs to focus on what to do about one's circumstances. this is very difficult for me personally for a couple of reasons. first, i'm just curious and always feel like if i know why then i'll be better able to deal with whatever it is...it provides a sense of closure at times and comfort at others. the second reason is that oftentimes it's difficult for me to really motivate myself into action mode. usually i'm scared...scared because i don't really know what i'm doing or what step to take...scared of failure...scared to even admit that...and on top of all of that, part of me just hopes that if my intentions are there and they're good, then something good will just happen.

so, when good things happen to people, is it just something that happens or is it something they make happen? that's a more accurate question in terms of my nite's wonderings. my personal guess? it's a combination of the two...things do just happen and people also do certain things to either make things happen or put themselves in situations where things can happen.