change

i got extremely sick of staring at a computer just about an hour ago. so i watched a little more TV and then got in bed to read. but while reading i got inspired to blog, altho not necessarily about what i was reading (This Is Your Brain on Music). like i did last year and like i plan on doing for years to come, around new year's i sat down and wrote out a list of resolutions for the new year. i debate how many and what detail at the time, just a few weeks ago (it feels like much more). over the past week or so i've given thought to what kind of start i am off to on the yearly quest of resolving myself to new goals and growth.

the final conclusion? in some ways i think i'm doing well, in others not. but change (not that i feel some impending need to change myself based on a dislike of anything about me - let's be honest, i'm so spectacular that no growth is even necessary) takes time. more importantly, growth is a process. it'd be easy to hold myself to some standard and just say i've already failed (based on things like, e.g., the fact that i have not worked out once to start the year). but life is about taking steps and taking those steps in the right direction. it's easy to sprint out of the gate and then tire. it's also easy to start out too slow and fall so far behind that u just throw in the towel. so i guess it's about balance.

i've been reading more lately, writing here a little more often, and just balancing out the grind of working with time to just get away from it all (with tv, music, private dance parties, surfing the interweb, chatting, seeing friends, and sleeping at funny times of day) and honestly it feels nice. even with the things i may not like or enjoy, balance provides a sense of calm.

at the end of the day, i want to to do more (when it comes to a lot of things, not just the handful of resolutions). but u take your steps each day or when confronted with each situation. it's crazy to think 1 of the 12 months of the year is almost gone (i gotta get that last hour of MCLE time in). it seems so fast yet it also seems like so much happened in that same span. hopefully we all get to the end of the next 11 months and have progressed and moved in a positive direction.