altered perspective

I had a life-changing experience tonite.

That is a much grander claim than it sounds...mainly because of how the phrase is commonly used. Yet at the same time it's a true statement.

Another monday nite, another monday nite dinner with Jeremy...always a good time full of goofy antics and inane trivialities. We headed to Los Feliz Village to eat at a place I've longed to checkout, simply based on walking by on many a Sunday afternoon and seeing tables full of people outside in what I could only perceive as ajoyful, blissful existence [in stark contrast to the Sunday doldrums I am often afflicted with as the start of another week looms.

Knowing nothing about the place aside from appearances, for some reason I longed to check it out...maybe to find some of that joy and bliss. And that we did. The food was really great [we're yet to go astray on our monday nite quests for delisciousness...but this was towards the top of our list], the ambience and atmosphere were simply amazing: a perfect evening with a temperature around 74 degress, clear skies, and wonderful outdoor seating.

For whatever reason I found the sense of complete and utter contentment I've written about in this very space before. While that makes me sound like an often depressed sad sap, that is far from the truth. I enjoy much of life, from the simply and the mundane to the more epic times with my epic friends...to quality time with family [a big part of the last week...and something I needed and am grateful for]. Yet there are moments...extended moments...where I find myself not quite manic but just in a state that must be something nearing nirvana.

As I find myself in these time a part of me has a bit of a panic attack, thinking that I'm doomed to fall and find a phase of disillusionment. In part it stems from my theory of emotional homeostasis and the fact that no matter what the difficulty I find myself spending at least part of the down time happy and balancing the negativity out. Another part of it simply relates to a lack of faith...a faith in a grander thing, a faith that one can just float along and have everything be ok...yet the faith concern I realize is entirely normal. Faith isn't about a blind belief where one never questions or worries...rather one believes in the best and do so even with or inspite of concerns. And so I found myself believing as I drove home for the evening.

So tonite changed my life...at least for the evening and on some subtle level more permanently. Sometimes it only takes a small alteration to result in a big difference.

**********

The post script to this evening was the hostess at the restaurant. I simply fell in love with her...in part from the moment I laid eyes on her and more so from the simply and fleeting interactions we had with her as she brought us to our table and also refilled out water glasses on ocassion.

In typical fashion I fell for her on the drop of dime and for no good reason beyond some silly, hopelessly romantic, goofy, idealistic, intuitive feeling...and as with the other times this has happened it's a funny way of saying you fall in love with someone...as my days will [unfortunately] go by without her and I'll continue on whatever goofy path I'm on in life.

But still, it was refreshing...she was truly refreshing.


* foto by my brother