a coworker noted this afternoon that i was in a particularly good mood, rather happy and chipper. it was a bit of surprise to her because as she's gotten to kno me over the last handful of weeks i've been admittedly a little bummed and mentally preoccupied....or as she put it depressed and obsessive, hahaha. my mind has definitely raced lately and i have felt rather down for more time than i usually ever do. it was funny because i pointed out to my coworker that i'm usually a rather happy-go-lucky person who really enjoys life and cherishes the good times and good people in it...this news surprised her.
later in the day i met up with one of my best friends from growing up and seeing such a familiar face reminded me that i've spent enough time being down and it's time to get back to being myself and appreciating the good friends in my life. hard times will come in life and what brought me down is a situation that in no way is any better than before...but it's not worth changing who i am. obviously it will involve plenty of thinking and other down times...it's just time to get back to being myself because i'm tired of not being me.
i've written about how during college and law school, when studying for exams i'd always reach a point (usually late the nite before or early the morning of an exam) where i just took my pile of notes or outline and plopped it down on my desk and said to myself: i'm over it. i can't say i'm necessarily at that point now and i am sure i'll fall back into a bummer out state at times but i'm over not being who i am. so hopefully this is some sort of turning point...all i kno now is i can't wait to get out of town for the weekend with some great friends and go hurt myself snowboarding...haha.
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