i'm not going to lie, i've often wanted to go back in time and change certain things. that's in direct contradiction to many things i've written on this blog...but just because i at times wish for things doesn't mean i actually would if i could...altho maybe i would. my point is more that i think any sense of regret or any desire to go back is out of a feeling that an opportunity was missed.
obviously, u cannot know what is to come at the time of any encounter or experience. no one says foresight is 20/20 and people say things happen for a reason. part of life is the figuring out the reason and learning through hindsight. yet sometimes i think back on choices and decisions i made, actions i took and wonder about the multitude of different outcomes...it's natural to wonder what a different course of action would have lead to if taken.
it's important to not get caught up thinking about whether u're wasting an opportunity...else it's all too easy to get frozen, so to speak. i'm a firm believer that all a person can do is try their best. while there are of course caveats and exceptions, i think it's a general proposition that rings true. personally, that's all i think i could ever ask of a person [well, not really ask...but hopefully u get what i'm saying.
anyway, writing last nite was definitely a therapeutic process...it definitely helped with some of what was on my mind in the past few days. the question of what i'm going to do with myself and the more pressing matter of finding a job are still looming and rightfully so. hopefully i can deal with them in a better manner as time passes and hopefully i can actually do something about both. obviously i wonder about the opportunities that await me...and i wonder what i'll do with them and also what opportunities will present themselves. and while some thing u must go out and make things happen, i think there's also some amount that is outside our control...but that's no excuse for not being prepared for what the future may hold.
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