that was a pretty redonkulous hiatus.

so, i clearly strayed far, far away from the goal of blogging daily for a month. i had a good run but totally lost it as of late...in part it came from being busy...but that is more of an excuse than an actual justification for the shortcomings on the writing front.

i think it really goes to just a lack of focus and a fractured train of thought of late. at times interesting topics flowed thru my mind but either i was not in a place where i could write or i simply just couldn't focus myself on the task. while not much is new, even on the intellectual or mental front, some milestones have occurred in recent weeks...including hitting the one year mark at work. my thoughts on that are a bit all over the place, much as i find my thoughts more generally lately.

in chatting with a friend today we cracked jokes ever so briefly about the ladies we will marry. at one point i noted how i really can't say i've met the woman i will marry. not that one can ever really make the claim in either direction, one never knows until it happens i guess. and i'm in no rush to get married. but the point beneath the joke, and one i pointed out, was that i am in a way lacking any crushes at this time in my life.

when i look back at the various stages of "Lou" i can deifnitely identify the major crushes of each stage or era...from elementary school to middle school and high school...on to college and then law school...even the "adult" world has had its crushes for me. yet now i find myself a bit restless without a crush. the funny part is i never pursued any crush seriously...nothing ever came of them. but they provided something to daydream about...

does growing up entail less daydreaming? i sure hope not. but i definitely do ponder how i and my close friends will change as adulthood takes hold. my thoughts tend to center on whether i will ever really grow up enough, as i tend to think of myself as an overgrown child...or at least a foolish individual of mental youth.

my friend said i need to get back to the City for the crushes to materialize...and i do find myself running on fumes at times. at the least i could use a vacation and a get away from the daily routines of life...and i'm sure it would provide an opportunity to fall in love with a gurl i know next to nothing about and will not pursue but just daydream about in my own time. i am reminded of part of one of the quotes on my brother's facebook profile about fallin in love:

Sometimes it was all but ephemeral, maybe only
an afternoon, but not less real for that.
They stay in my mind these beautiful people,
or anyway people beautiful to me, of which
there are so many. You, and you, and you,
whom I had the fortune to meet, or maybe
missed.

i think i have a penchant for such types of falling in love...completely unreal in a way...but just as exciting and fun and in its own way meaningful no less. the funny part about it is i don't really think i would know how to actually be serious about dating these days...the past year or so of exploring my individuality has been highly rewarding and eye-opening in many ways.

anywho...this was tonite's rambling of thoughts that pretty much came as i attempted to write, feeling a need to do so even if i didn't really start out with much in mind.

also...