Driving without shoes on is weird.

hmmmm....

I'm noticing a decline in writing as of late. I think it's because I've said all there is to say, dropping all knowledge there is to drop. What can I say, I'm thorough. Ha! Honestly I think it's in part a side-effect of thinking about work a bit more since I'm still not getting through this assignment as fast as I'd like. It's OK and I'm just kicking myself a bit...but I'm also looking forward to getting through a first draft of it [hopefully early next week] and then getting to find some new work and new assignments. Hopefully something fresh will give me the kick I need.

So I'm in a funny mood as I chillax here at home tonite. I passed out for an hour when I got home from work and then went for a run and got in a bit of a workout. After watching a little TV I find myself jonesin' for music. Getting thru the all-time favs mix and then giving it a listen taught me a bit about my musical knowledge, preferences, tastes, and so on. There's definitely a certain sound to me [especially when it comes to hip-hop and r&b]. I think it's a good think but it also makes me want to take in other things and expand my horizons...or not expand them [because I feel they are quite broad already] but rather devote more time to stylings I might neglect.

I kinda want to go on a music binge and buy up a bunch of CDs [like Postal Service's Give Up, Common's latest Finding Forever, possibly the new Talib Kweli album Ear Drum, and other stuff]. But every time I end up getting a bunch of new music at once I tend to neglect at least some of it. Maybe I need to go thru my collection and put more time into exactly those albums I'm yet to fully appreciate. In the end I feel this funny mood of mine is really an urge to find new favorites out of what I already have...reflecting a sense of reinvention while also maintaining a certain identity or sense of myself...which is exactly what the past few months of life in general involved [and continue to involve]. It's a lot of fun, really rewarding, and just healthy.

On a side note, one thing I learned from the lasting favorites compilation is that many of my favorite songs are not favorites due to some sentimental meaning. As much as I lean on music during the hard times and find meaning in songs which act in an almost therapeutic manner, the songs that stay with me tend to be ones that reach me on an aesthetic level and hit my soul in an almost inexplicable manner. But gut feelings like that are pretty much how I roll in life...

Music is the divine way to tell beautiful, poetic things to the heart.
- Pablo Casals

I just stumbled across that quote on a post-it note saved on my computer [and wish I remembered it yesterday actually]. I have no idea how I came across it in the first place but I think it pretty much sums up exactly what I wrote above. I might replace "heart" with "soul" but in the end they're very much the same. Other great quotes can be found here. Seriously, that link makes me happy. Time to get save some more quotes...I loves me some quotes...

By the way, I absolutely love the pic on this post. Music....
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update: another great quote

Without music life would be a mistake.
- Nietzsche

super lates

i meant to write here earlier (i.e., at a reasonable hour as opposed to starting at 1:50 a.m., but whatevs). it's been a theme of doing things late today: staying at work until around 8 p.m. (no, i am not complaining and i know good friends of mine who hold it down significantly later than that), going for a run and getting in some exercise around 9 p.m., dinner at like 10 p.m., and now getting my blog on in the wee hours of the morning.

i spent the last i dunno how long consuming myself with working out the mixtape i mentioned before. mixtapes are fun! anyway, i accomplished my task altho some left over things need to be done. with the late start to being home, here i am now...

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i actually enjoyed being in the office so late. i wasn't as focused during the day as i could have been [read: severe case of writer's block] but i pushed thru and get into a bit of a groove. it reminded me of law school actually: holding down the gold room til closing time when hardly anyone else was around. oh how i miss thee Goldie. it's oddly my style to work at odd and later hours (maybe it's the added sense of pressure that pushes me). but it was just weird how during the day my office was completely not conducive to accomplishing much but as it grew later (and darker) i was happy i was there and wouldn't get work done anywhere else (heck, part of me wanted to take my laptop into one of the conference rooms and sprawl my stuff out old school style).

it felt good to get some work done and i think taking an approach similar to writing stuff in school helped. i kinda created a mental block for myself and over-thought things a bit, but it happens. the motion i've been working on is also the first significant legal writing i've done in terms of writing something for court [as opposed to a memo where u can get away with being slightly more retarded...something i specialize in...hahahahaha).

well, i really should get to sleep...altho i'm considering going in late manana and just staying later again so i can get a bit more sleep...we'll see how i feel when my alarm goes off tomorrow...hehe...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

damn!

Yes, I've used that image before but it's worthy of duplication [as is the font color...haha].

Query: what other artist [or band] has put out 3 stellar albums in a row, from the jumpoff? I've loved all 3 Ye albums and while I know there are many who may disagree [it's not my fault if you have poor taste in music, I feel sorry for you] he has put out 3 quality albums to start his career. I think most reviews will back up my opinion [while I'd prolly go a step further than most review in my personal enjoyment of his music]. But the simple fact that he keeps coming with it and coming correct...the level of music over time, expanding his sound while also staying true to himself...it amazes me.

ppl usually go wrong and start making wack isht, at least for a bit. this is especially true when they attempt to expand or grow as an artist. but the College Dropout was a real departure from all the "hip-hop" of the time. and with Late Registration anew sound emerged. as for Graduation, it too is it's own entity and a unique sound yet also familiar.

on top of bringing such quality music of his own and being able to create a unique sound each time around [while maintaining traditional and important aspects that make him who he is], think about how much production he does for other artists. if u look at the big picture, all the music he gets his hands on beyond his own personal stuff...i think it's pretty amazing what he's done with these 3 albums.

anyway, i like kanYe's music a lot, in case u couldn't tell.

an explanation...some explication

as for the last post...i own a lot of music. some people own more, others own less. i've been trying to compile a mixtape of sorts. in brief it's just a lasting favorites of sorts. it's a difficult task for someone like me because i loves me way too much music. but it's a fun experience to take some time to musically self-reflect. anyway...that's where the previous post came from...on to more serious matters...
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i grow frustrated with myself, for some things silly and other things somewhat more serious...let me get away from my point to hopefully get back to it [altho being the tangential person i am it may not work as planned]

i watched the VMAs the other nite. personally i enjoyed them. yes, britney sucked and just didn't even do what u could call a performance. but other aspects of the show were a lot of fun. seeing the artist performing these collabos together and just hanging out, basically partying together was a unique experience. in the end, it woulda been more fun to be there and just hang with everyone...but it was something different and something new.

so, i was talking with Peter today [someone who knows me as well as anyone in this world and prolly has a certain faith in me most others don't] and he said how he realized he should have been a DJ, that we both should have. this is definitely true. i started telling him about the VMAs and my thought and how i felt like that's kinda where i'm supposed to be. to get to the point of this paragraph, i wrapped things up by saying i'm gonna be heaven's DJ. i doubt i'll end up making music in this life...but one can hope for big things.

that's what i've been feeling lately. an urge to follow the dreams i had going into law school, throughout law school, and in the end every day of my life. i already wrote a bit about this but seeing the performances the other nite just set the tone even more for myself. i know where i'm at right now is just a step, it'd be a step no matter what i want to do. i'm just a little eager i guess, really wanting to do some of the things i think about, read about, hear about.

it's funny because i already talked to a couple of really good friends about this a while back, but they were (or are still in) the same position i am now, while i was jobless. i remember telling them that, while what they're doing now isn't where they want to be, it's an awesome step towards getting there...the same is true for me. it's just a matter of getting the best out of everything and using each opportunity to the fullest.

from another conversation today, u never know where life is going to take u [which also means that the steps we're all taking right now might be steps in a direction we didn't realize]. if u asked me a year ago where i would be right now, pretty much everything i would have said would turn out wrong. and if u told me the life circumstances of right now, my response would have been: crap, that sucks. but the funny thing is i'm really happy with life right now.

i'm happy with where i'm at, with where i'm heading, with the possibilities and opportunities that exist. in part we adjust to our circumstances. but we also mold those circumstances to who we are...or at the least we are capable of doing so. we can all own our lives, our situations...and i feel like i'm getting back to that quite a bit; i'm seriously happy about it.

it's good to feel more like myself and also just take more and more control of my life. i guess the good thing about the frustration i've recently is that it pushes me to figure myself out more: what i want out of life, the person i want to be in life...

anyway, i'm listening to the new kanYe right now. picked it up tonite after work and am having a personal listening party at home. hehe. i'm feeling it and the artwork of the album is just flat out amazing. bonus: the album came with a poster, which shall go up in the apartment somewhere soon. =] i could write more but i'm distracted by music and chatting...more later, including the topic of feeling epic.

today's grand realization

i own way too much music.

explanation to come later...

[in other news...i plan on buying at least one new CD manana, if not two. hehe]

the disappointment

it wasn't supposed to be like this; it was supposed to go this way. i thought it was better than this. i never imagined this happening; i've never felt this awful feeling before, never felt such disappointment and just plain bewilderment as well as frustration.

ok, it's only college football, some would say. but Michigan getting off to the worst start i've ever seen in my life is honestly heartbreaking. not only that, but losing to a team no one thinks they should have lost to and also losing in the way they did today just hurts. i spend some of my time furious but it's pointless.

maybe a lot of people won't understand any of this and just think i'm a silly fool [which, to be honest, i am]. but growing up in Ann Arbor was an amazing experience [for many reasons aside from the culture of Michigan football] and it ingrained a fierce passion for Michigan football in me, even tho i'm a Bruin. seeing the Maize and Blue, the uniforms, the Big House...knowing fall is coming and with it the beginning of a new football season...these things honestly move my spirit on a certain level. so, to get off to an 0-2 start [losing to the teams they did and in the fashion it went down today] just kills that part of me.

there are just some things in life that really matter to me. often something serious, something anyone would consider important [my family, my friends, the ppl i care about, and so on]. but then there are things like Michigan football, Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeetriot Pistons basketball, awesomely bad breakdancing movies from the 80s, and ridiculous but fierce allegiances and loyalties to other such 'trivialities']. part of me wants to just say: "I get it, it's just football" but then i want to punch myself for even thinking it. haha.

more importantly, i think life is about having things that matter to you. honestly, i can't imagine life without passions [mine including things like music, private dance parties at home, photography, and of course being goofy]. they help define us as people and they also provide outlets for expression or just plain old escapes from reality. i've met a few people in my life who didn't seem to be very passionate about anything and in the end they just kinda seemed to exist; they were just there in a way. it's hard to explain...and i'm not too great with words, haha. but knowing and meeting people who are passionate about things is refreshing and also inspiring.

anyway, Michigan lost again and it blows hard. but i still got love for my team and will rep them always. bring on the hate [which, sadly, there was a lot of after last week's loss - it's amazing when people actually take joy in another program losing...when they're not even affiliated with the school that won the game...but there's always haters]. i'll be on the floor in front of my couch again next Saturday for the next game...