i'm coming to realize that my friends are right. when it comes to the biggest "problem" in my life [i put it in quotes because it's not so much a problem but a circumstance that affords many opportunities but isn't exactly what i'm looking for in the grand scheme of things], u simply reach a point where u gotta do what u gotta do. u can complain, whine, hope for change, will it to be different all u want...but at the end of the day u gotta make it happen.
obviously there's a lot that's out of my control. today another friend told me to quit saying hopefully it'll happen and start saying it will happen. positive thinking, right? one of my close friends from back in the day was saying that u either care enough to do something about it or u don't; u get to a point where u get so fed up with things that u pretty much spend every free moment to make it different...or u up and just make it different without the assurances u may feel u need to make such a drastic change.
while i'm not at the latter point...i'm definitely more motivated than i have been in a long time. and while nothing may come of my efforts for some time, all u can do it keep at it and know that things will workout as they may and as they should. for now, it feels good to simply begin to see myself putting forth some effort without the hesistancy of previous times...
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