they don't dance no more?

as i've been sick the past few days, it's taken a little longer to get to this post about the long weekend up in SF. i must admit, the weekend involved a bachelor party for one of my good high school buddies and so some highlights are off limits and cannot be printed here or anywhere...that's just the way it is. all in all a great weekend and definitely worth the drive to and from SF...as well as the cold i caught during the weekend. and this is true even though the weekend involved no dancing on my behalf [aside from the random me dancing to whatever music happens to be playing whereever i happen to be]. highlights...

• finally getting to the open road
• time on the road with good tunes
• a table full of old friends [that's when the bachelor party began]
• the key under the mat
• the most comfortable sleeping situation ever
  
• early rising for golf
• miserable golfing conditions
• finally making it out to the course with good friends and playing the first full 18 in i don't know how long
• breaking in the new clubs [i sucked tremendously, especially with the new putter]
• trekking even further south for an awesome lobster sammich
• finally getting to see Ed...the guy housing me for the weekend
• the continuation of the bachelor party
• meeting up with Ed at the second lamest house party ever
• Ed's inability to find the hidden key at 4:30 am...even tho it was right there in front of him
• wine tasting in Sonoma and Napa

• JERKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• a quality burger
• Los, the women's bathroom, and "Sabrina, are you in here?" [one of the funniest things EVER]
  
• playing drinking games 'til 4 in the morning
• pizza shortly thereafter
• dim sum
• the lack of traffic on the road home
• Chevron french vanilla cappucino [mmm...sugary coffee-like stuff]
• getting to celebrate multiple occasions with friends
• finally getting home

there were many laughs, jokes, witty comments, and other moments that definitely belong on this list. some escape me, some just cannot be shared. there were some low lights, including getting sick and missing out on the baseball game i was supposed to go to with a good friend from law school...but overall it was an amazing, exhausting, but also in a way refershing weekend.

**********

more and more i realize where i want to be, where i need to be, where i should be. i'm trying to find the focus to get there and make it happen...but even with all the reason in the world it is hard and terrifying in many ways to do. honestly, i just wish something would happen and it'd all be taken care of...but i think part of the hesitation relates to the fact that even tho i know where i want to be, there is one big thing i'm unsure of these days and that's just what i want to be doing while there. in some ways these are vague statements that can be read in very literal terms or much more metaphorical ones. i'd say that both interpretations are accurate in many respects.

the scary part is that not knowing aspect. a lack of sureness and really some sort of goal or plan in a way...something i feel i should have by now in many ways. a lot goes into these feelings and these thoughts...stuff that has never really been explored in this or any other blog of mine. in fact, some of these things have never been explored in any focused manner, aside from random musings and probably late nite talks with close friends. i wish i could go back to some of those conversations. the great talks u have with a close friend when u're sleeping over at each other's houses back in high school...where u're just talking before passing out.

but that's a digression and another of the many tangents in the world of Lou. the yearning for such times has more to do with the need to actually explore some of these feelings, concerns, emotions, etc. it's a need to figure some stuff out...even if maybe i just figure out that i need to be completely irresponsible. who knows. anyway...enough with the seriousness on the blog for tonite. i'm off to bed...where i'm sure i'll pass out thinking about much of what i'm writing about...but in more detail. g'nite world.