celebrating the good times...

So, I'm still exhausted and on top of that I feel it's been ages since I made a serious attempt at writing here, but I definitely possess the desire to drop words, not knowledge because that is unfortunately lacking at this stage in life. Anyway, in my weakened state here's what I've got...

No weekend recap this time. Unless someone else wants to sit here and fill me in. I'd toss up some of the highlights (and I do remember Friday nite actually), but while I thought I remembered a lot of Saturday, the stories I hear indicate otherwise. Ah, screw it...here goes anyway...

• finally getting some Brasilian BBQ
• running into a good friend I hadn't seen in almost 3 years
• the events of friday nite after Bruno's
• an afternoon run to Mitchell's for some ice cream
• dinner with a big group of my closest friends
• Diego talking up a married woman [not hitting on her for his sake but mine...i still don't know why tho]
• 'gaying it up' at Dragon Bar [as if that's an unusual occurrence]
• all the dancing
• ending up on the floor multiple times
• lying on the sidewalk
• being surrounded by ppl i love and getting to spend time with everyone and getting to know more good ppl

I hear some 'hood girl tried to fight me and i also did some other inane and Louis type things. =p It was a great nite, a great weekend, full of great ppl. Thank u all once again for being there and making the nite as great as it was.
______________________________________

As for more serious topics, you often hear ppl talking about what they look for in a guy/girl or ppl often ask that question and wonder what ppl want out of a relationship. My realization of late is that I need to focus on or figure out what I want out of myself in a relationship.

I've written about my chameleon like nature, showing a different side of myself to different ppl. In part it comes from an urge to keep a part of myself a secret, to always be able to surprise ppl. But when it comes to relationships I think I lost myself in the sense that I was overly caught up with pleasing my significant other, afraid to ever disappoint or start conflict.

Maybe in part I just don't put myself first enough. I'm not making the claim of being some martyr or angel or anything like that. I'm not better than the next person. Like all attributes, it can be a good or bad thing, depends on the circumstances. Either way, I think what I'm looking for out of myself is to stay truer to myself.

This is not to take away anything from past relationships, I'm not saying I wasn't keeping it real. I just know I want more of myself next time around. I want to be able to find a balance between respecting my significant other and also maintaining my identity a little more. It's about improving, not saying I regret anything or anything from before wasn't good.

There's room for growth and that's what it's about...
_________________________________________
currently hearing in my head: bt - Love Comes Again [feat. Kirsty Hawkshaw]