perspective

So, some of those I'm closest to got to know what was more private over the last couple hours. I'm lucky in many, many ways but one of the things I'm most thankful for are my family and friends. They've provided so much for me over time but especially lately. They've knocked some sense in me and reminded me of who I really am and it's OK to make mistakes. As much as happiness comes from within and loving yourself, it always helps when people believe in you [especially during the times when you start to doubt yourself].

A lot of life is a matter of perspective. My horoscope [yes, I read my horoscope sometimes] yesterday said something about how it could be a good day or a bad day and that if I got bad news in the morning the day would depend on how I looked at/dealt with it. Well, right before reading said horoscope I found out not the greatest news ever. But in the end I realized that I could dwell on it and let it get me down or hop in the shower, go to work, and just think differently.

Sometimes it doesn't really matter how you look at it, you just gotta let it go and give it the time and space it needs. I'm not a fan of forcing things when it comes to my emotions. I'm not good at living in denial simply because I can't deny something crappy. It's dangerous because instead I'm capable of wallowing but I think it's more that I wear my heart on my sleeve and am just open about feeling down when I'm down and understand that it's something I need to go through to get to the point of feeling better.

I know some people take a very different approach. We're all different and deal with things in our own way, operating in the way that works for our individual self. But we can also all learn from the various approaches and I'm trying to do that: it's all about growth in the end. I'm happy that I'm learning and growing right now. I feel a lot more like the person I used to know myself to be a few years ago and I'm happy about that. In no way is that to say I didn't like who I was recently, I learned a lot over the past few years as well. I guess it's more that I feel like I'm combining the best of both these days.

I'm not sure why I'm spending so many words on this but yea...I've spent a lot of time worrying about things I shouldn't and failing to put myself first like I should. It's time to let go, move forward, and just let things be. A good friend used those last few words earlier tonite in conversation and it reminded me someone else who gave me the same advice back in the day. When I've done that, good things happen. If you can't let something be [in the sense that when u do, nothing good comes about] then it's just not right and you shouldn't try to force it.

Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve. Oh, what a bad joke!!!!!!! cute puppy.


I'll close with my deep thought of recent days:

Walls only protect what is weak inside.

[Part of me feels like that's some deep thought but at the same time I also feel lame for thinking that. hehe. but yea, i'm no fan of putting up walls. i'd rather put myself out there, get hurt if it happens, get back up, and do it all over again. at least i tried, right? i know i gave it all i had...if that's not enough for someone then no worries...all i've got is all i've got]
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In other news, the latest post on my brother's blog really inspired me. I hope I'm lucky enough to experience something like that sometime [soon] in my life.