people can really surprise u, in a lot of different ways. sometimes the people closest to u end up treating u in a way u didn't know they were capable of; other times someone will tell you they did something u didn't know they had in them to do; people are sometimes really sad about something in their life but when u seem them they seem pretty happy. i guess some of it just goes to human functioning/abilities. i know that there's one thing i'm sad about in life but it's not like u saw me moping all weekend up in the Bay, so i guess i'm "guilty" of the last thing.
but i've been surprised in all those ways lately. it can really hurt, depending on what the surprise is and who surprised u. at the same time i've been pleasantly surprised too [by the ability of some people to be there for me when i didn't know they had my back like they do].
i guess it's hard to really, really know people. u think u do or u think u can trust someone but u don't/can't. it really, really hurts to find that out sometimes. thankfully, i've only really felt that way once [unfortunately recently], even if i've gotten hurt in other ways by surprises. i feel extremely lucky to have people in my life who i do truly trust and i feel like i've got a pretty big group of people i feel that way about in my life.
but still, it's tough to swallow what happened just a couple of weeks ago. beyond that, i'm struggling with another surprise someone close to me dropped on me...putting my mind into somewhat of a tailspin. at times i sit here completely unsure of what to do, what to think. i do my best to not judge anyone and i think i do well at it. but do i say the things on my mind to these people? i feel my words will go lost on deaf ears. beyond that, what do u say to someone who u feel let u down? why do u even want to say anything to them in the first place?
it's saddening. but like i said above, u're not going to just see me moping all the time [maybe some of it, especially if u're close to me and know me well]. life has a lot of different facets and aspects to it...one difficulty doesn't negate other positives. but i'm comfortable admitting some things in life are hard and not how i want them to be...
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as for the weekend, i had a lot of fun just being around good ppl. i got up there friday nite and me and the boys headed out shortly after i got to my friend Peter's pad [after a fun BART ride late at nite and a cab ride]. the crew rocked out like we always do and had a great time. i'm not going to give a play by play of the weekend but it was a really good time. i'm glad that i've got such good friends in such a great place. i'm also glad that, as of now, i can get up there pretty frequently to see some of the best ppl in the world.
here are some weekend highlights...
- meeting Turk from Scrubs [Donald Faison] while waiting for my flight at the Burbank airport
- all the good dancing with my ppls
- late nite grilled cheese and a good talk with 'Los [many thanks for some more perspective my man]
- going old school with Deefs and intentionally choosing to watch a movie that had no hopes of being good [but of course had it's funny moments]
- the fact that my ppls had my back in a heart beat when some guy felt a need to try and start beef with me by head butting me, after he elbowed me and i just wondered what he was doing
- the girl who responded to me saying "Don't be looking at my man!" as I groped Al by saying "Don't worry, I like pussy."
- 2 aborted trips to the End Up [due to ridiculous cover charges]
- the 2 "5 block" walks that each turned out to cover about 18 blocks
- the "dipping of the feet" at Judy's hot tub
- heading home for the 'nite' as all the SF Marathon runners were just getting ready to warm up and what not
- somehow managing to get to BART and then the airport on 3 hours sleep
- buying & eating a "Big Dipper" ice cream cone from the ice cream guy while walking to pick up my Domino's
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post nap update:
the thing i loved most about this weekend was that all my ppls had a good time and enjoyed each others' company. i think it's a good sign when one group of your friends really enjoys your friends from another group. can't nobody step to my ppls.
many thanks to everyone for making it out and holding it down.
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